Being Fearless

As a therapist, I treat people a long way down the line, when the problem is huge and the illness is big and it has already de-railed their life. And so many times, every day, I think ‘If only you could have had the right support 2 years ago, or ten years ago, or even 30 years ago’. 

I want to train people in mental health, to help them understand their own mental health, know how to manage it, and know when to get help. To remove the stigma and the shame surrounding mental health, so getting help and support is easier. 

And one option which his becoming increasingly clear to me is to run a mental health training company, which visits churches, community groups, schools and businesses, and does precisely this.

To help me get there, I have signed up with North and East Bristol Enterprise Support which gives me access to an online system called Outset. Outset helps guide you through setting up a business. Over the last two weeks, I’ve spent some time on Outset each day, being guided through the process. So for example  looking at my idea, my barriers and limitations, my strengths and my customers.

But I came to a halt last week, when it was on the first bit of market research. There is so much I don’t know – who my customers are, how much they would pay, and the corporate world feels so far apart from all my experience I had no idea how to even start asking the questions. It isn’t like my friends are all CEOs and training directors of large businesses and I can just ask them on facebook.

The thing which made sense was to cold call some companies and ask a few questions about mental health training. And that scared me rigid. I haven’t done cold calling since I was a teenager working for a neighbours company, when my task was to find the name of the director so my then boss could phone them to sell his equipment.

The Cowardly Lion

I wasn’t even sure what the fear was – that I would sound stupid? That someone would be rude to me? That it would be wasted effort? I think, really, the fear was that it took the whole idea from being something inside my head and talked about with friends and worked on in private, to being something real, something with a reputation, something which could fail.

But I told myself I wouldn’t skip this step in Outset, I would push through my fear here. Because if my fear stopped me here, it would stop me a hundred times more in the future.

I changed my goal from getting advice (outcome, non controllable) to making the calls – process, controllable.

I timetabled a slot to accomplish it in.

And I set myself a reward (to book a ticket to see Dune) for when it was done.

And then yesterday Els texted me :

Hi Clarie, I keep forgetting to share this with you so I’m giving up in person and sending it as a message or it may never happen! At the family service back in September when I saw you I felt God say the word ‘fearless’ to me for you. I don’t have anything else other than that (it was fearless in a good way from trusting God or maybe making a decision or just radiating that to others). Anyway I’m praying it for you from a distance and sorry for not sharing it until now! Hope you’ve had a good half term x

And I knew it was about making the market research phonecalls.

So this morning I did it. Most of the numbers from the list I had were discontinued. A couple of people answered but couldn’t take the call so I emailed them with survey monkey questions instead.

A couple of small firms answered and gave me useful information, helping me understand that under 20 employees wouldn’t be my aim, as they don’t provide regular external training and they look after each other in a supportive way

And one man, Paris Penny, was really helpful – he was interested in where I was at, and my idea and gave me really helpful information on the kind of clients I would need and also a clue as to pricing which was brilliant. But more than that he was encouraging and wanted to keep in contact and that felt super helpful.

It’s taken me a while to let the adrenalin come down (and also, let’s be honest, I had to climb the scaffolding with the new plumber as well half way through and that also shot my heart rate up).  

But I have taken today’s step and I am glad.

Tomorrow – visiting the accountant!